Baby gear after 4 kids

After 4 kids, we've been through lots of baby gear. Here are my favorites, these past 8 years. 

• convertible carseats. Lugging around a huge infant seat was not good for me or for my baby. Convertible seats last years anyway, less waste.
• ikea high chair. No crevices. I wish it had a smaller base but it's simplicity and price can't be beat. (Even better, got our's at a yard sale for $1!)
• mattress covers. Get 2 for every bed. You just never know who, when or what will a spring will leak. 
• removable shower head. quick baby bath after diaper explosions and helpful for washing out shampoo for toddlers and preschoolers)
• slow flow attachment for shower head. This allows you to lower the pressure of your shower head for sensitive babies and increase it for you, the mom, when you need a needle-sharp skin-melting session, I mean, shower. 
• quality baby carriers. My favorite for the first few months is Solly wrap. We've tried lots of Ergobaby carriers and I love the performance one the most. I've used the same one for 3 kids. Nate likes wearing our Tula, it's more cushy and wider. I think Ergobaby is made for smaller frames. Past baby carrier posts here and here.
• chicco liteway stroller. The first stroller we got and it's so simple, lightweight and durable. I got a fancy one (city select) for when I had 3 small enough to push around. Went back the to city liteway with no regrets.
• puj tub. In the sink tub, folds up to store, easy-peasy.
• wet bag. Not just for cloth diapers. Helpful for dirty diapers away from home and great for taking home wet swimsuits too. I keep one in the car always.
• simple, wipeable changing mat. We've never had a changing table or big sturdy pad. Always changed on the floor with a travel mat. The linked one was a gift and has been used for 3+ years now!
• backpack as diaper bag. No need for a fancy bag at all. 
• Luvs or store brand diapers. Actually, we always used Huggies for the first couple of months and then switched to cheaper ones. We have done cloth off and on with baby #4 but I'm kind of done with that now. And I don't feel bad about it.

If you need more ideas, I wrote more about this at Lactation Link a while back. 

But above all the gear, what you really need is a community of support around you. Spend some time meditating on how you can help create that for yourself and others. Read the books. Go to the classes. Listen to the podcasts. Look past the baby registry. Inform your intuition. You got this.

• Book recommendations:
• The Birth Partner
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
• Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn
• Class recommendations:
• Prenatal yoga (step one in creating a community of support around you!)
• Birth: Evidence-Based Birth. One silver lining of the pandemic is so many classes going online, so if you didn't have an instructor in your area, you can access them online.
• Breastfeeding: Lactation Link all online and go at your pace!
• Podcast recommendations:
• Birthful
• The Birth Hour
• Evidence Based Birth

One last bit of unsolicited advice, we can read all the books and listen to the all the podcasts, decorate the nursery and do all the research...but if we aren't involving our partner in all that, we are not setting ourselves up for success. There is a meme going around that sums it up pretty well: what we talked about before birth vs what we should have talked about.  

What we talked about:

• nursery decor
• what stroller to get
• which carseat to get
• which hospital to choose
• possible birth positions

What we forgot to talk about:

• how I wanted my partner to support me during labor
• why I wanted to birth the way I did
• what signs of PPMD are (for mom and dad!)
• how my partner could be involved in baby's care
• how to tap into community in the early baby days

Much of parenthood is just what you have to learn as you go, but having intentional conversations about how you will handle future struggles can only help.