For any mom out there that did not breastfeed at all or as long as they hoped I honor your journey.
World Breastfeeding Week is great for us in the Northern Hemisphere because it's during the summer and often when breastfeeding is more visible. Like all times of the year, babies have to eat in the summertime. And to the shock of some in America, some of these babies do not appreciate eating under a tent of cloth. And so everyone loses their mind.
Recently in some LDS mom groups, I noticed a mom reaching out for support and perspective because some in her congregation were upset her baby needed to eat while at church. As she updated the posts, it became clear that things were getting out of hand. As reported in The Exponent II, the issue was voiced to her stake president and he was not supportive of her and her child. It's just all so disappointing. How absurd that it was anyone else's business to begin with! Tragically, her ability to attend the temple, sacred sites of learning and growth for Mormons, has been put into question.
I did write our female leadership and respectfully ask that they consider the needs of the worldwide church and create a breastfeeding policy that would welcome the feeding of infants and children in whatever way the breastfeeding dyad (mother and baby) requires.
Some have chosen to push back against this story and deny its legitimacy and even go so far as claim the sister is an exhibitionist. I have enough personal experience from breastfeeding for a total of 4.5 years that these troubling opinions exist. Whether or not this particular story is true is of no consequence. American culture objectifies women and when women use their bodies in the way that God designed, our culture often takes issue with it. I believe that when the rising generation is able to witness women’s breasts being used as they were intended, a healthier culture is born. We can shed the over-sexualization of women’s bodies. We can create a healthy culture that values the nourishing contributions of women to their families.
Some have chosen to push back against this story and deny its legitimacy and even go so far as claim the sister is an exhibitionist. I have enough personal experience from breastfeeding for a total of 4.5 years that these troubling opinions exist. Whether or not this particular story is true is of no consequence. American culture objectifies women and when women use their bodies in the way that God designed, our culture often takes issue with it. I believe that when the rising generation is able to witness women’s breasts being used as they were intended, a healthier culture is born. We can shed the over-sexualization of women’s bodies. We can create a healthy culture that values the nourishing contributions of women to their families.
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| A detail from Stanisław Wyspiański’s “Macierzynstwo” (1905). via |
Since THE BEGINNING OF TIME women have breastfed their babies and young children. They didn't need covers or blankets or hot, stuffy, stinky rooms. Everyone around them knew what boobs were for and didn't bat an eye because boobs are for nursing.
But they're sexual! They're inappropriate for public! What if an unsuspecting young man sees a nipple?! I hear you. I really do. But guess what else is really sexual? My neck. My husband loves to kiss it and I enjoy it too. But because I have a brain and so does (usually) everyone else around me, I know it's real purpose is to hold up my head. So I don't feel the need to cover it when in public. Isn't that great? Aren't our bodies amazing? Their parts can have more than one use! Astonishing, really. And if a young man sees an exposed breast, thank God it will be in the context of nourishing a child and not in the context of seeking a man's desire. See how that's different? It's all about the context.
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| great quote from Beauty Redefined |
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| gym-nurstics does not fit under a cover |
Now I don't need to go into all the reasons why breastfeeding with a cover isn't always an option. Others have done that rather well already (ScaryMommy, Mommyish). And not every mom wants to and that's okay. What is important is that she is supported in whatever she chooses because a baby's need to eat supersedes an onlooker or passerby's comfort every time. My choice to breastfeed without a cover started with my oldest. When Bridger was a baby, I was much more timid about breastfeeding and while in my parents' living room, alone, I covered him with what was close by, a rather thick baby blanket. A friend came in to chat and so I felt the need to keep my chest covered. Yall, that poor baby had sweat drops like crocodile tears. After that, I started questioning why I felt the comfort of others was more important than my baby's.
And if you think for one minute that your (incorrect) opinions about the need for women to cover up while breastfeeding are your own, you're kidding yourself. This idea is the culmination of decades of propaganda, marketing and I personally believe, Satan's lies. Propaganda and marketing from formula companies to increase their profits (see more here). As a woman of faith, the proof that Satan is trying to destroy motherhood isn't in moms postponing starting their families, it's in the social pressure that our bodies are not our own. That they are here to be held, owned and objectified by men. Breastfeeding (and for many moms, birthing on their own terms) is a means to break that cycle. It provides a path to understanding the gift and power that our bodies have for all humankind and for ourselves. Get out of the way with your patriarchal ideas about woman's place. We have no need for them.
And for all the concerned Mormons out there, I sure hope yall cut this image out of your Book of Mormon Stories (published by the Church). Don't want anyone to know what boobs are actually for now would we?
Ironically, the same week the controversy was blowing up with the woman who was asked not to nurse in her church building, LDS Charities was celebrating World Breastfeeding Week with the above post. Is what we do around the world good enough for us back at home? I think so. Breastfeeding needs more support around the world to meet necessary breastfeeding (public health) goals. But in many countries, openly breastfeeding is as normal for breathing for everyone involved (and not involved). At church, women around the world nurse while bearing testimony, while giving lessons and while listening to the missionaries. We are doing our children a disservice (in many ways) by not normalizing breastfeeding in our culture as well.
Lest you think everyone has an issue with this...
I've nursed in many Mothers Rooms as well as Sacrament meetings, Sunday Schools and Relief Society meetings without issue. More than one mom has thanked me for nursing during church because it gave them the courage to do so as well. Makes any discomfort worth it for me.
Further reading
The first article I linked above has gotten loads of attention and here are some follow-up articles.
- Addendum. Answers some of the FAQ about the original post.
- An Open Letter to the Stake President Concerned About Breastfeeding. Loved this one. The tone is at times snarky, but many of the suggestions are great:
- "Institute a special Sunday school class on godly manhood that includes material on reversing the harmful effects of the world’s philosophy that men cannot conquer their base desires. Emphasize our doctrine that we must transcend our carnal state through the power and mercy of Jesus Christ (Mosiah 3:19).
- Acknowledge that porn addicts and teenagers have little control over the public environment, and that they will encounter female bodies in many forms and contexts, and will therefore be tasked with regulating their internal condition.
- Encourage all able women to nurse their babies without pressure to cover or hide in an effort to further renormalize breastfeeding for the rising generation. This will teach them what normal breasts look like and what their primary purpose is (refer to church-published A Parent’s Guide, Chapter 5). As little boys see their mothers and their primary teachers and their friends’ mothers nursing, they will grow up with a healthy concept of female breasts, and will be less likely to google “What do boobs look like?” because they will already have learned this within the sacred and appropriate context of motherhood. Removing taboos around women’s bodies will combat lust and porn addiction."
- Audio interview with the mom. More about her story and what has happened with her church leaders since. My favorite part? The stake president said his wife had heard about the story and corrected him. When women stand up for other women, the world gets a bit better.
- The Tale of My Saggy Middle-Aged Breasts. I loved this portion from the end, "I would love to see the community reach out and help, rather than judge and shame for the choices she may make in trying to meet her family’s needs. If a woman makes a choice different from yours, do you feel threatened? If you see a woman breastfeeding in public, why not champion her? Speak up for her if others are shaming? If the sight of a woman feeding her child with her breast disturbs you, why? And do you think the mother and baby should be uncomfortable instead of you?"
From A Parent's Guide, a pamphlet for LDS families, published by the LDS Church: "The scriptures often refer respectfully but plainly to the body and its parts. There is no embarrassment and often there is sacred symbolism. It is the world that makes the divinely created body an object of carnal lust. For example, it makes the female breasts primarily into sexual enticements, while the truth is that they were intended to nourish and comfort children. It promotes male sexual aggression in contrast to Christ’s example of tenderness, long-suffering, kindness, and steadfastness in the home."
Nursing a Sexually Wounded Culture explores how our culture of objectification affects our views on breastfeeding. Great read.
Breastfeeding and Following Jesus explores modern Christianity's obsession with modesty and how it affects breastfeeding.
Some instances of breastfeeding in LDS art. My favorite is the THREE DIMENSIONAL mother breastfeeding with her entire boob out that is ENCASED IN BRONZE at Temple Square in Salt Lake City. Someone go put a cover on that lady! The painting that is mentioned first is also in the new Provo Temple in the chapel. I saw it while touring it during the open house. Just lovely!
This post on breastfeeding in LDS American culture has some better images and has some great discussion as well.
The Politics of Breastfeeding opened my eyes to many of the sources of our modern issues with breastfeeding.
Unlatched is another great book about the modern history of breastfeeding.
Unlatched is another great book about the modern history of breastfeeding.
Victorian Era moms posing for portraits while breastfeeding.
If you're pro-life, would you be interested in saving 800,000 lives? Thought so. Increasing breastfeeding could save 800 000 children and US$ 300 billion every year. Our part to play in this is supporting breastfeeding moms.
If you need a little help to feel comfortable breastfeeding in public, I wrote a how-to post about it for Lactation Link last year.
This isn't my first soapbox on nursing in public, ha!
UPDATE: Great campaign happening: Let Babies Eat
UPDATE: Great campaign happening: Let Babies Eat
And some final wisdom from my favorite internet dad...
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